Often my centering prayer sessions don’t seem to accomplish much. My mind continually bounces around. I rehearse past hurts. I think about my task list. I make plans for today’s meetings. I gain ideas for projects. I have little sense of the presence of God. In a word, I’m distracted.
Yet perhaps these are actually the best days. After all, centering prayer is not about me and my thoughts. It’s about entering a space outside of my control where I may encounter the living God. The sessions, when my brain interrupts incessantly, become opportunities to learn anew about surrender. In these moments I release whatever captures my attention and return to a posture of waiting. This may happen dozens of times in a 15–20 minute time of centering prayer. Yet each recitation of my prayer word serves as an occasion for training in faithfulness and love.
Jesus' Model
When Jesus was hungry in the wilderness, the tempter pointed to the presence of an abundant number of stones (Matt 4:1–4). He suggested that Jesus use his power to turn them to bread. Jesus reminded the tempter, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”
Jesus’ hunger was real. He had just completed a forty day fast. Yet he released it by reciting Scripture as a way of moving away from temptation.
The tempter then presents Jesus with two additional tests. As in the first scene, Jesus quotes Scripture and stays focused on God’s mission. It is no coincidence that angels appear and attend to Jesus’ needs (4:11).
The Practice of Self-Denial and Surrender to Silence
Centering prayer teaches us a similar process of self-denial. Don’t mistake this for masochism or crass asceticism. God is not cruel. God is love. The greatest hindrance to our spiritual transformation is ourselves. The process of self-denial prepares us for the deep work that God desires to do in us. Jesus recognized this and modeled a way forward.
Our thoughts are the obstacles that distract us from the work God desires to do in us in solitude. But we must not fight our thoughts. This would be our work. Instead, we calmly use our prayer word “Jesus” to recenter.
A friend recently asked me if sessions full of distraction frustrated me. The truth of the matter is they do not at all frustrate me. Instead they are the days where I learn the most.
Don’t get me wrong. My soul loves the moments of deep contemplation where I become lost in God’s love. It is transformational to experience and receive God’s unconditional acceptance. It, however, is also transformational to learn continually the lessons taught by silent surrender.
On those days when I’m constantly lost in thought, I learn to focus on appreciation rather than expectation. I remember that centering prayer is not a tactic for engaging God. It is a way of being in which I consciously surrender in love and gratitude to God. I let go of all things that may hinder me including the expectation that I’ll encounter God during my time of prayer.
Releasing thoughts is an act of faith. I trust that God has my best interests at heart. Therefore, my future does not depend on avoiding being lost in a continuous stream of thoughts or even in my ability to recollect the thoughts I released in prayer.
Appreciation and Growth
After such sessions, I’ve learned to appreciate the silence. By releasing the expectation of automatically encountering God in each session, I’ve found that growth happens. The prayer time is not about me after all. It is not a work. It is rest in the presence of God. Just as the biblical sabbath envisions life apart from work, centering prayer is an invitation to let go of all human busyness and activity to rest in God.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner. Amen.
If you are interested in learning more about centering prayer, here is an introductory video:
2018 was a year of substantive growth for me. For the last couple of years, I've been doing a deep dive into spiritual formation. This has helped me to serve my students and readers better, but perhaps more importantly it's given me new insights and resources for growing deeper in grace. I'm grateful for all of the learning that I gained from the reading that I did as well as esteemed friends and colleagues who recommended and discussed these books with me over the course of the past year. 1) James K. A. Smith You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit This is Smith's most accessible work to date. His academic background is philosophy. You Are What You Love makes a provocative statement. Smith argues essentially that we may not love what we think we love. We are shaped consciously (and unconsciously) by liturgies. Liturgy is one of Smith's favorite words. The challenge for Christians today is learning to deconstruct and subvert the secular liturgies that desire to shape us into consumers rather than God's holy people. I like and dislike Smith book. It is certainly worth reading because he does (I think) make a correct diagnosis: Our loves/desires are likely more shaped by culture than by the Gospel. Having offered this diagnosis, Smith does not provide (in my mind) a radical enough antidote. His hope is in the rekindling of a robust liturgical movement within the Church. I think that this is certainly part of the solution, but once Smith opens the pandora's box of the human unconscious, he is going to need more resources for renewal than merely renewing Christian worship. Smith is one of the most engaging thinkers in recent years. This is a book worth reading.
2) Murchadh O Madagain Centering Prayer and the Healing of the Unconscious I've been practicing Centering Prayer for several years now and it has been truly formative for my spiritual growth in God's grace and love. This book was recommended simultaneously and independently by two colleagues to me. It was profoundly helpful for my thinking and personal growth. Madagain explores the history of Centering Prayer and judges it to be orthodox and a means by which God may transform a believer. Madagain dialogues with the desert fathers, John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila, The Cloud of Unknowing as well as 20th century authors Thomas Merton and Thomas Keating in order to show how centering prayer fits into the stream of historic Christianity. It offers mature reflection on centering prayer and draws clear contrasts between its practice and meditation practices in eastern religions (as well as Western new age spirituality). I rank this text as one of the most important books on spiritual formation that I've ever read. 3) Peter Scazzero Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It's Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature Scazzero is a gift to any Christian who struggles with integrating one's past wounds with a robust spiritual life. All of us have "shadow work" to do as we allow God's grace to integrate painful aspects of ourselves into the new person whom God creates us to be. He writes transparently of his own struggles with overwork and conflict in relationships despite serving as a pastor and being fully committed to the work of the Gospel. He also shares many anecdotes of other Christians with whom he's served or counseled. This book is helpful because he does not merely diagnose a problem; he also offers tools. One of the best is the creation of a family genogram. It allows us to map out our family of origins and reflect on the strengths/weaknesses of our family tree. This is a particularly powerful tool for couples as they bring much history into their relationship. If you haven't read Scazzero this is the place to start, if you are familiar with his work and particularly if you are a pastor you will also find his The Emotionally Healthy Leader: How Transforming Your Inner Life Will Deeply Transform Your Church, Team, and the World helpful. 4) Richard Rohr Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life This is one of Rohr's finest books. Falling Upward is a Christian reading of the Jungian idea of a middle passage or midlife crisis. We spend the first half of life building a house; we spend the second half of life learning to live in it. Problems arise when we discover that we may not have erected the proper home and begin asking questions such as "Who am I apart from my history and the roles that I fill?" Rohr offers rich insights into growing in grace on the other side of midlife. Maybe its because I'm turning 50 in 2019, but I really enjoyed this book. 5) Augustine On Christian Teaching Augustine penned this thin volume (for him) of meaty reflection on the interpretation and teaching of Scripture. It remains relevant and helpful to us in the 21st century as we face anew some of the same the challenges faced by the early Church when it struggled to communicate the Gospel clearly in a world that did not yet know the Christian God. 6) Dallas Willard The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives by Dallas Willard (18-Apr-1991) Paperback Willard offers profound reflection on the importance and role of spiritual disciplines in the Christian life. Cultivating the habits of spiritual formation is critical for preparing ourselves to be fully present in the world ready to embody the Gospel to those around us. What were your favorite reads in spirituality or theology for 2018?
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helpful.
